The Friendship sermon for Yom Kippur 2024

 The Friendship sermon for Yom Kippur 2024

in honor of Aner Shapira, Ben Zussman and Hersh Goldberg-Polin of blessed memory.

Shabbat Shalom, Gmar Chatima Tova and Shana Tova, may we all merit to be sealed in the book of life please G-d, may we return all of our hostages to their homes, and may our eyes witness the return in peace of all our soldiers, heroes of Israel. May we see the return of the citizens of Israel's south and north to their homes in safety, and the full recovery of all of the wounded and the broken hearted, and the return of the hope and the joy.

I am so thankful that we are here together, thank you to each and every one of you who has come to beseech for us together, thank you to the community. To prayer. To Torah. To belief. On the night of Rosh Hashana I brought children's books and we spoke about the moon, and the question raised by the Sochatochover Rebbe: why is Rosh Hashana different from all other holidays, that all fall on the full moon, whereas Rosh Hashana falls when the moon is lacking and just beginning to wax? And the answer he learned from his father: the moon is a teacher of Teshuva, of repentance, that agrees to begin completely anew. And in the words of his father – בהתגלות הנעלם – when the concealed becomes revealed. And we learned from the Radomsk Rebbe, who showed a great interest in the moon, that the moon has three names – ירח, סיהרא, לבנה (Yareach, Sihara, Levana) – and all of them have to do with lacking. Yareach sounds similar to the Hebrew word "Oreach" (guest) – the moon as a guest that comes and goes. Sihara from the word Sahar (crescent), which shares a Hebrew root with the word Sar – to take leave, and Levana like the word for the color white – Lavan – like the pale white of a heart that is lacking. We learned that the Zohar notes that the light is described as being created twice: Once on the first day – "Let there be Light", and once on the fourth day – "Let there be lights". And the Zohar explains: "Let there be light" – was the idea of the light, but the implementation waited for the fourth day, and it was on that day that the power of the moon came to be revealed. "Lights", Rabbi Yossei teaches, is written in the Torah lacking in the first vowel (מארות) in order to bring our attention to the lesser light, which is at times darkened and lacking. Rabbi Yossei and the sages of the Zohar see the moon as a teacher which instructs us in waning and waxing and humility. The moon, the Levana, from the Hebrew word for heart – Lev, is the first item in creation which agreed to begin again, and to teach the light of humility. This is what we learned on Rosh Hashana.

And this evening, on this Yom Kippur, which just might be the most difficult one that many of us have experienced in our lifetimes, I want to talk about the stars. They appear last, on the fourth day of creation, and appear to be completely marginal compared to the sun and moon – "G-d made… the greater light…and the lesser light… and the stars." But in Jewish tradition, they become the true heroes. The sun and moon are not the moment of covenant with Avraham, rather – "[… G-d] took him outside and said, “Look toward heaven and count the stars, … “So shall your offspring be.” And with Moshe: "…you are today as numerous as the stars in the sky". The Midrash in Devarim Rabba says that the Almighty compared Israel to the stars of the sky. Why? What is in the stars?

This year I find myself gazing at them often, late at night, after days of weeping and pain. The Midrash in Sh'mot Rabba explains: you are unable to count them. And the Sfat Emet says that many stars light up the darkness, specifically at night, from a very lofty place. And Don Yitzchak Abarbanel, of the Spanish exilees and one of the great redeemers of hostages teaches: their spiritual matter is wonderful… because they are not seen during the day, only at night. The stars are like a far-off story, from a far away place, lofty, small and numerous, and they come and are seen only at night, in the depth of darkness.

And the Baal Shem Tov adds to their uniqueness and says that the stars seem small…but in truth they are very big. And the Maor Vashemesh, who chose to call himself Maor vashemesh (literally – the light and sun) but actually was very interested in the stars, added depth by saying that each star shines unto itself. And is uniquely special. Yet they do not strive (as the sun and moon do) to be appointed, but rather just want to be a chavruta, a companion. YL"H says that the stars bestow honor upon one another, and make peace among themselves. They are a system of mutual and communal light, in which each one is unique and they are all together.

The Rashar Hirsch teaches that for all of these reasons the stars are celestial guides to the humans on earth. For although they are innumerable, each individual among them has meaning; each one is a world in its own right, and has value in and of itself, and together they are meant to guide us from the sky, how to be us as comets together, here on earth.

And this is why the stars accompany us in Jewish tradition for generations, in the stories of Avraham, and Joseph and Moshe, in the song of Devorah, and in Psalms and in Daniel, and the Torash Shbe'al Peh, the Oral Torah, begins with a Tosefta at the time of 'Tzet Hacochavim' – when the stars appear, and Halacha will set those times as times for reading the Shema and for prayer, to determine the time that Shabbat and holidays end and more. And in these days of the beginning of the new year, we turn to the stars, as the Sfat Emet says – not only Avraham was taken out. For it is [connected to] the matter of the beginning of the year in the days of judgement, for on the festival of Sukkot one goes outside. And one should count the stars in the schach, for the stars should be visible from the schach. And all the festivals lead there, for every man to go out like Avraham, to look to the sky from the ground, and to observe the exalted light of the stars. (Noam Elimelech).

And at the heart of the service of the temple and the high priest, the protagonists of Yom Kippur, The Sochotchover Rebbe teaches that they – the stars – were actually the service of the high priest on a day to day basis in the temple – in lighting the Menorah, the candelabrum, like in the sky, only here on earth. An illumination by candles – the light of many, in light and not in the burning fire of the sun, in seven candles of the candelabrum to symbolize seven planets so that everyone could see and learn the service of the work of light, that every star is a complete world, and all the stars ask for light and blessing and peace for one another.

Here too in the land of Israel at the beginning of Zionism – whose mission is the excellence of the people and society, in protecting the sanctity of life, of solidarity and man – about 120 years ago, in the year 1905 when Bialik wrote the words "The stars have cheated me" (part of his famous song "Hachnisini Tachat Knafech"), in the very same year, A.D. Gordon made Aliyah to Israel at the age of 84 (And Rav Avraham Yitzchak Hacohen Cook made Aliyah then as well at the age of 90 and both of them had a daughter Yael), and in the year 1914 when World War One breaks out, Gordon wrote to all of us, who have come to be a nation of star light: "From you my brother I ask but one thing. Commune with yourself and with nature, listen to what is happening in the depth of your soul, then like a star each person will walk their own path, and the path will not be small. The stars of the sky are not connected to each other by ropes, and still the connection between them is stronger than all the ropes of the world". (Loosely translated from the third letter from Eretz Yisrael, Kinneret 1914). 

And throughout all of the Jewish and Zionist history of this time, in World War Two, Chana Senesh wrote about the stars as well: "There are people for whom the radiance of their memory is illuminated only when they are among us no longer. These lights – which gleam in the darkness of night – are what shows a person his way". (Loose translation). And she teaches that star light is an eco-system, of intergenerational light, of grandparents, and of those that are no longer with us, but are luminaries for us even after their passing. On this difficult Yom Kippur, which falls on Shabbat this year, and which will end tomorrow with the emergence of three stars in the sky, and then in a Sukkah with schach that makes room for the stars, I want to talk about three star lights from our neighborhood, three heroic friends, of light, love and peace, whose light was bigger than the length of their lives, and who continue to shine now, along with there beloved families, like the light of the firmament – Aner, Ben and Hersh.

There are very many shining stars and heroes that have fallen, and they are all worthy that we should discuss them and remember them forever, but I am going to talk about three friends. Aner Shapira, who was 22, one month before his release from the army as a combat soldier in Sayeret Nachal, and on October 7th stood at the entrance of the miggunit, the mobile shelter on the bloodied road, and calmed everyone next to him, and repeatedly threw grenade after grenade out of the mobile shelter, and in incomprehensible heroism saved so many lives but also taught life, taught "Aner-ism", taught a path to be a people-loving human, a person who goes out into nature to pray, a drawer, a creator, an artist, a believer.

Ben Zussman, 22 years old, a combat soldier in the 401st Brigade of combat engineering, who fell during the battle in the northern Gaza strip mere days before the holiday of Hannukah, and wrote to his parents: "If you are reading this than something probably happened to me, and I will be sitting next to Grandpa and we will be catching up. If G-d forbid you are sitting Shiva, turn it into a week of friends and family". And at the Shloshim, they invited everyone to laugh and sing, to choose life. Sarit and Zvi [Ben's parents] commanded to keep joie de vivre, communication and connection with the people surrounding us, in a clean and loving form and with a kind eye.

Hersh Goldberg-Polin, 23 years old, who at age seven, when he was told by his parents that they were making Aliyah to the land of Israel and that the name Hersh would be difficult for the Israelis – said that the Israelis can cope.  A questioning child, performer of salvations, who wanted to better the world and find solutions, who held on in captivity, a symbol with his parents, the giants of rescue, a child of light and love and peace. And at the funeral: we join the Shapira and Zussman families, and many families, not the ending we wanted, but we are comforted in their reunification.

And I've been thinking, all year, about the words of Chaim Guri from the establishment of the state, in 'Shir Ha'reut', the song of friendship:

"The fall night descends upon the Negev, and silently ignites the stars… For a year we have almost not felt, how the times have passed on our fields. For a year and we remain few, how many are those that are no longer among us. Yet we remember them all, the beautiful of hair and face, because friendship such as this, will never allow our hearts to forget". (Loose translation). I think of the stars igniting silently. About the year that has passed. How many are those that are no longer among us. About the friendship that will not allow our hearts to forget. The stars, wordlessly, are the song of friendship and brotherhood. "…Look toward heaven… So shall your offspring be". And we are here in on earth, we have seen them in pain, the generation of friendship.

This place that is called a Beit Knesset, a house of gathering, and a Mikdash Me'at – a miniature temple – that is what our sages called it, after the destruction – is the place where our sages wanted us to gather the small amount of friendship, to illuminate the eternal candelabrum of friendship with it together, for us to continue Avraham and Moshe and all the generations of Jews, gatherers of light and love and peace. Tonight, in a few minutes from now, we will stand together and beseech on our behalf, in front of a new Aron Kodesh, a new holy ark and a new Parochet – a new curtain. The Aron Kodesh is from Kibbutz Lavi up north, it is made out of wood, the one tree of life and wants to bless each of us from here: "May Hashem bless you from Zion; may you share the prosperity of Jerusalem…". The Parochet, the curtain, is the work of an artist from the North, whose one son was injured and saved, and whose other son is a good friend of Hersh's and is grappling with his death, and in the heart of war, we made a request of her, to embroider for us the Parochet of friendship: the words " Happy is the people who know the joyful shout (T'ruah)…" –  the word Truah in Hebrew shares a root with the word Re'ut – friendship. 'Ashrei" – Happy, is everyone's happiness, it is to find the way to live together, with all of us, and Yusuf Alziadnah, the Bedouin who saved, and the Druze, all of us, a people 'Am' in Hebrew, the same word with different vowels for 'Im' – with, and the words of the blessing of light, that the Sfat Emet said is the blessing of healing and redemption: "Shine a new light upon Zion… Blessed are You, Hashem, Former of the luminaries." The new light, is not one sun, or a moon, but rather the light of many stars, the light of friendship, that is the light that illuminates Zion, the Menorah and the Tamid – the daily sacrifice.

In another moment we will stand up, towards the Aron Kodesh, towards the Parochet of friendship, and we will sing the melody of the song "Yesh li sikui" (literally – I have a chance – a song by Evyatar Banai), and I would like to turn to each and every one of you, in this historical moment, this critical moment that we are living in, and to give you strength, and to tell you that you are light, love and peace, and to bless you, that you may live and envision and build, please G-d, a life of friendship. A desecrated world is a world that convinces us, G-d forbid, that we are no longer, that there is no chance, but in the world of holiness – there is always a chance, always. "Es"ah Einai" – I shall raise my eyes to the stars – the Hebrew word "Esah" – I shall raise can be read as an acronym for light, peace and love (Or, Shalom, Ahava) – and we shall raise our eyes to the stars of heroes, and inwards towards our souls, because each and every one of you, in saying hello, in caring, in hugging, in giving all year, you are all stars of friendship here on earth, each one of you with your own unique talents, is exceptional and an inspiration to everyone. Yisrael, Israel is connected to the Hebrew word for inspiration – Hashra'ah, is a chance and holiness. And this evening, "Light is sown for the righteous", Or Zarua LaZadik – Zadik is from the Hebrew word for justice, that is to justify life, to know that beneath your feet you have roots of light, and love in your wings, and peace in your heart. It is to know that we are not alone, that above us is a sky full of stars, generations of grandparents who lived and illuminated, and heroes, whose light lives on and reaches us here.

In conclusion, I would like to turn to our youngesters, soldiers, students, teenagers and children, your generation that many things were said about, your generation which sprouted Aner, and Ben and Hersh, and sprouted each and every one of you here. I have been looking at you all year, and been thinking how much I learn from you. You have an entire language that you have made up, that it's taken me a long time to understand. And this evening I would like to bless all of us with three words that I have learned from you:

1.      "Sagur" – literally "closed" – loosely translated – "I'm on it". In the beginning I said to myself – what is "sagur"? Why "sagur"? "Sagur" is an amazing word, when someone says "Sagur" to you, they are actually saying – I get it, you can count on me, it will happen. It's closed. It is a word of responsibility. Of maturity. Of agreement, I've heard and I've taken it upon myself, a word of trust.

2.      "Zorem" – literally – flows. Loosely translated – that works, we can go with the flow. It took me forever to understand what is "zorem"? Where is it flowing to? "Zorem" means – that when I take something upon myself it is closed, sagur. However, this life is not closed, it surprises us for the good and for the not so obviously good, therefore – I will accommodate myself, we will all accommodate ourselves, and make an effort to find the middle ground, to search for agreement. It is a word of humility. To accept the limitations of life, of people, to acknowledge our humanity and to request flowing and accommodation.

3.      "Leharim" – literally – to lift up. This took me the longest time. "Leharim" means: I see you, and I give you credit. It is actually your word for friendship.

In the same way that the state has a covenant with its citizens to protect their lives, we, the parents and the community, have a covenant with you, the youngsters, to grasp on to life. We cannot promise you anything, we must not promise things that are not up to us alone. 'Tzair" the Hebrew word for young is also from the root of Tza'ar – sadness – meaning to discover the sadness of the world, but it also means to be awake all night and look at the stars, and part of our responsibility is to teach humility, Like the holy Torah and prayer, but also to say to you "Sagur." - closed "Zorem", - flows, and to lift you up. And to say to you – you are light and love and peace. You are shining stars. We love you so much, and dream you, and are proud of you and pray for you and believe, and we want to fill your hands and hearts and futures and that of this beloved land, with hope and holiness, with solidarity and friendship and joy.

We all have a chance. Tonight is a chance. Tomorrow is a chance. This year that we are entering into is, please G-d, a chance. And Yom Kippur envelopes us and asks of us – to take it.